Notes and Chat

Current Wedding Ceremony Trends

What sorts of things are people having in their wedding ceremonies these days?

It’s interesting to see what couples want. Those with a particular heritage, belief, tradition or culture often include items, symbols and rituals from their heritage. As a result not all ‘civil’ weddings are entirely civil. You can include Orthodox Crowns, wine exchange, a Jewish Chuppa (wedding canopy) & breaking the glass and a large number of wedding practices from Europe, Asia, Africa and the Americas. Australian Hindus, Buddhists, Muslims and others still like recognition of their traditions and beliefs in their Aussie wedding.

As the vast majority of weddings are conducted by marriage celebrants rather than the religious it’s not surprising. Some may say - why is this so? I think it’s because, with an independent celebrant, people can have the wedding where and when they want and include items and events of their own choosing. It’s certainly made Australian weddings unique and special.

The huge number of special wedding ideas that have grown up over recent years are amazing: The Warming of the Rings which nicely involves everyone, sand or blending ceremonies which can be tailored for blended families as well, Celtic Handfasting, a whole range of flower ceremonies and special moments and these are part of what people call Traditional Weddings.

If you get into theme weddings these might include Celtic, medieval, Wiccan or Druidic styles as well as feature themes such as Star Wars, Western, 70s and so on. Limited only by imagination - all sorts of things are possible.

Legal & Traditional Content in Weddings

Oddly, there’s only a couple of things in a wedding ceremony that are legally required. One’s the need for the celebrant to quote Section 46 of the Marriage Act (it explains the legal definition of marriage in Australia) and the other’s an exchange of vows between the bride and groom. Section 45(2) of the Marriage Act insists on certain words being included in the vows. However, despite this requirement, vows can be quite personal and allow a large degree of creativity if you’d like to include words & sentiments of your choosing.

Everything else in a wedding can be uniquely individual and what you want. There are “traditional” things such as - welcoming remarks, presentation of the bride (based on the former practice of ‘giving away of the bride’), consents (‘I dos’), the giving of rings and every wedding really benefits from a couple of readings at least. Why? Readings and events within the ceremony provide much appreciated variety. It makes a wedding personal, meaningful and with, perhaps humorous, readings, can add moments of fun. But, truly wonderful moments are created in ceremonies with romantic, traditional and spiritual readings from the wonderful literary resources around the planet. A word of warning, make sure the person you’ve asked to present a reading, really wants to, is a good reader who’ll give it meaning and is not shy about standing in front of an audience. Bear in mind, the vast majority of people would rather die rather than speak in public! Often you’ll find your celebrant is happy to read your chosen items if you can’t find someone who can do them justice.

So feel free - go to town on your wedding! Make it a wonderful event you’ll treasure forever and so will anyone else.

PERCEPTIONS OF CELEBRANTS & THEIR VALUE

“THEY SAY A FEW WORDS FOR 10 OR 20 MINUTES AT A WEDDING, SIGN PAPERS & LEAVE. CAN’T BE WORTH MUCH!”

IT’S FAR FROM THE TRUTH! 1. A good celebrant spends 10 hours plus on each wedding which might be a half hour on the day (but seems like 10 minutes). A good celebrant offers resources, knowledge, ideas & advice on traditions, beliefs & cultures. They work closely with couples to produce a wedding that’s personal, unique, enjoyable & provides wonderful lifetime memories. The actual wedding is the least amount of time spent – but it’s the important part people see and appreciate.

2. Not-so-good celebrants spend little time in preparation & don’t have detailed know-how. They often work with minimal information & sadly, deliver forgettable weddings.

“CELEBRANTS ARE TRAINED TO THE SAME STANDARDS & ARE SIMILAR IN ABILITY. SO, GET THE CHEAPEST!”

THE TRUTH IS – TRAINING: Most are poorly trained. Some celebrant training is good, much is awful. Some were not initially trained, but learned a lot being celebrants over many years. Some have acquired higher qualifications & additional expert knowledge. ABILITY: Some are wonderful at what they do - great public speakers, brilliant at putting together and delivering enjoyable wedding ceremonies with meaning. But not all!

Others are not great public speakers, unsure of ceremony design & may deliver an embarrassing ceremony.

“CELEBRANTS ARE MOSTLY FULL TIME PROFESSIONALS AND HAVE CONDUCTED MANY WEDDINGS!”

THE TRUTH! Very few are full time. The majority are part time, amateur hobby celebrants with other full time occupations or income. Most celebrants do few weddings each year – maybe 4 or 5 perhaps 10 if they’re lucky (some none at all). Very few, conduct between 50 & 100 weddings or more, each year (as I do).

KEY QUESTIONS TO ASK A CELEBRANT:

1. What help do you give to create our wedding ceremony?

2. How will you make our wedding wonderful & memorable?

3. Do you provide onsite rehearsal (at no extra charge)?

4. How long have you been a marriage celebrant?

5. How many & what type of weddings have you conducted?

6. What do clients say about you? (Testimonials)

7. What higher qualifications & awards do you have?

8. Do you have additional charges – what are they for?

Very different to the usual - “What do you charge?”

Meet celebrants (if you can) to see whether they’re your sort of person

WARNING: Some newly appointed celebrants claim “years of experience”. No doubt true, but probably not as celebrants!